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Lowering The Gradients Considering The Personality Of The Woman
When we are speaking about subjects like "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I often get asked about how to start getting physical with a girl that you have known as a pal for awhile.
Getting physical is one thing that usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless either of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.
When a man is not comfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the the most important thing that a man can do to handle that is learn to observe and make use of gradients.
What are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder that you climb to reach the top. Some guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uneasy as well as the guy.
A man who is uncomfortable in this field should learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on girls.
Not every woman will begin at the same gradient. Some girls will start with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or rapidly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and lastly to sexual relations. If a man attempts to jump to the "sexual relations" step without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. However, you can lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.
Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, speaking about sexual topics indirectly (for instance commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (clashing with you as you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you walk, holding your hand, after which a goodnight kiss.
If you are not comfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients lightly. As long as you don't skip a lot of gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her persona.
If she is not interested, she probably won't budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try talking about it. Ask her if she is serious about a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.
Also remember that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the idea of getting physical with you. So you may need to clarify if you are dating or simply "hanging out."
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